Long story short: Bought my first home last summer and moved in over the Labor Day weekend. It's a fixer-upper and my Pop came out west to see it. Pop is a master carpenter and he told me that together, he and I could relocate the bathroom toilet, pull up the formica in the kitchen and bath, install new and larger windows in the master BR, install blown in insulation, hang new sheet rock, paint and just a ton of other things I have no clue how to do alone. My Pop died suddenly over this past Thanksgiving weekend; before we had a chance to even really get started on our Spring projects. I'm still in the process of buying items at Home Depot from the list he left with me before he went back home for the winter (I'm west coast, he's east coast). I need help. I know these things need to be done, I just have no clue how to do them and I don't have much money to pay someone to help me. My home is an older home and Pop was going to help me restore it to its former glory. How do I find someone who #1) knows what they are doing and #2) will allow me to help do the work which needs to be done? I want to learn how to do these things and Pop was going to teach me how to take care of my home by letting me get my hands dirty and fixing, repairing or replacing things with the help of someone who knew the ropes. I'm lost without my Pop. What can I do? Any and all helpful suggestions are more than welcome. Thanks in advance. I'm grateful for any advice.

Christina

Gosh, I'm sad to say I know how you feel. I bought a fixer upper with my fiance a few years ago. When I had a question about the house or hiring someone to do work on the house, my father was always there with good advice; since he passed away, I feel like I am doing this alone. I often think of a question someone once asked me- and it sounds like your situation would apply- "How do you eat an elephant?" The answer is: "One bite at a time." Anyway, it sounds like you have a lot of projects, but put them down on paper and determine an order that things need to done. It sounds like your dad wanted to do a lot right away, but do a little at a time. The books at your Home Depot are very helpful, even if you have to hire someone- at least you will have an idea of questions to ask or what they are talking about after reading up on the subject. Buy the ones that look the easiest for you to understand, and use them as reference materials when you do projects. Ask a friend to help you or if you are lucky enough to have them- ask a neighbor. Chances are, if their house is as old as yours they have had to do similar work to it. We got very lucky to find that I have one neighbor that is a licensed plumber, and one that loves carpentry. The key is not to get overwhelmed. Your father seemed to enjoy it for a reason, you need to find a similar joy- most likely it will come with accomplishment.

Sorry to hear about your father and your situation. Most folks at Home Depot and Lowes will be willing to tell you how to do things and even put on seminars during the evenings to help the diy'ers. I agree with BCinNC, with the books, but you might also check out diy.com, jlconline.com, and other construction "how to" sights. Neighbors and friends also are helpful. A drywall party might be in order. One bit of advice, paid contractor's will either not take the job, or will charge more if you want to help. They also don't really like it with someone looking over their shoulder, but will be willing to show you how they do their trade, when asked. Also, you might check with your church. There are usually a lot of handy people at church, ready and willing to help.

Many thanks to you for the kind replies. I have gone to Home Depot and purchased a book on how do things yourself. Now, I just need to take a deep breath and get myself in there and try to take care of some of these projects. I appreciate all your heartfelt sentiments. I will do my best on my own to make the house look beautiful again...........for Pop.

Christina

Sorry about your loss. I've been there--done that and it is no fun. Fortunately I have been making sawdust most of my adult life and can do most of my own work. I recommend that you subscribe to a mag such has Handyman. Also watch all of the "This Old House", "DIY" and similar TV shows that you can. There are also other internet forums that you can ask specific questions about the various tasks that you have. Start with the easiest task first, even it is not the most pressing. Complete each task completly before proceeding to another. The kind of person that you need to find to help you is a retired pro. They have no overhead. For instance, I no longer solder cooper piping (it's an insurance thing). I found a retired handyman that does plumbing when ever folks need it and he feels up to the job. He replaced 4 isolation valves, moved my washer, dryer and deep sink, moved two separate runs of pipe. He charged me $80 which included two of the valves and a piece of pipe. We talked and I watched as he worked and kept him supplied with coffee. Ask at your hardware store, lumber yard and check the classifieds to try and find this kind of person. Best of luck.

As many of your responses indicated I also wish my Dad could be here to help me. I broke my ankle about 6 years ago and watched HGTV day and night for 4 weeks. As soon as I was able to get around, I replaced my toilet! Then I painted all my walls. Then I ripped out my carpeting and started tiling. And I'm in my mid 50's now. I just try to do something every other weekend - it's easy if you do a little bit of prep work during the week after work. Best thing to remember is think things thru, research and ask questions of everyone. Plan ahead so you don't have to make 5 trips to Home Depot in one day (yes, i've done that) Take your time. You can do all the things you wanted to do with your Dad, but in 5 or 10 years your style might change and you'll want to do it all over again. Take your time. It'll always be an ongoing project. Just remember to enjoy yourself, keep your sense of humor while you're working, then sit back and enjoy your completed project. Good luck.

Christina, You're getting some great advice. First of all, don't get overwhelmed. You have years to work on the house if you're like the rest of us. So, layout a plan of everything on your wish list and then break it down into steps after you've done some research. Some of the jobs (windows, plumbing) you'll probably want to hire out. But there is a lot you can do yourself. You may even find that you have some friends that may want to learn along with you to gain experience. For the most part contractors aren't going to share the job with you, but there are plenty of "handymen" in your local newspaper that will. Remember, there is nothing you can mess up so bad that can't be fixed by a professional.

I'd like to hear how you're progressing since I'm tackling a similar job. I renovated a 1940's house with my husband before moving into our 100 year old house (aka money pit) six years ago. He since passed away & I thought I'd have to sell the house. But, I've decided that this isn't brain surgery. If I can read books & take advice I should be able to do the work myself. I'm going to be starting a full kitchen & bath renovation, building interior walls, etc this year. I hired a high schooler to help with the heavy stuff and to have a 2nd pair of hands, but I'll be leaving the plumbing & electrical work to the pros. It should be an interesting experience for both of us. You never know you might be really good at it!

Firstly take some comfort in the fact that you have the genes of your father. Secondly you have many many people that will be willing to give you good advice on this site, so take advantage of that.
My first advice is start small, and believe in your own abilities.With each success there will be a new sense of accomplishment, and completion.
One thiing I have found over the years is if you think about something, plan it thoroughly, and take your time there is very little you can't accomplish.

christina,mimi,kate,pinkhammer,I lost my dad and he left me a home,a run down white frame elephant too! but what a time we have.we have a vocational school that teaches teenagers in the day time but adults at night.anything you want to learn from bricklaying to woodworking and other things.they will even put a class together for you if you can find enough friends to go.lowes& home depot has clinics and professional on hand to actually instruct you but I want to watch and see your updates.goodluck toall.

hello to all i just joined this site and i here alot of talk regarding THE HOME DEPOT be very carefull of what you buy from them!!!!! alot of material they carry is made just for them you may see it elsewhere but it is a lesser quality then most good lumber yards or trade stores. they buy so much material they demand a lower price from there suppliers, to get the price down the suppliers make the product cheaper in order to sell it to HOME DEPOT cheaper. don't get me wrong I do shop there for some items but definitly not any quality material stuff

Oh, you guys!!! You are all wonderful!! Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement!! I'm getting choked up just reading how many fabulous and caring folks have responded to my cry for help. I will be thinking of you all as I make my way thru the maze of tasks I complete. I've read up on how to remove wallpaper and I will be starting that project this coming weekend. Then I will be moving on to painting those walls. I promise I will keep you all up-to-date on how I'm progressing with each task. I know this is going to be hard without my Pop, but I will do the best I can. Thank you all again so very very very much. You will never know how your kind words of comfort and support touched my heart. I am sincerely grateful to you all!
For Pop!!!

Christina

MostSerene1,

My condolences on the loss of your Pop -- my Dad's been gone over six years, and I still miss him every day. You've received a lot of good advice here. I particularly like the idea of finding a retired expert -- one of the women I work with was telling me just last week that she and her husband found such a person -- in their case a bricklayer -- to work on their house. He did a beautiful job and charged them a fraction of what it might have cost them. An added benefit of this route is that many of these folks still have contacts that will give them a "rate" on first-quality materials (and they know the very best materials to use for any given job). Many of these folks are just working to keep busy and earn a little extra to supplement their retirement; as someone's already mentioned, they may be willing to share their expertise with willing students, provided that students keep the hot coffee and an occasional sandwich coming!

Best advice I can give you is, don't give up! You can do this -- do the work as money and time permits -- learn all you can as you go. When you're finished (does one ever truly finish with home improvement?), you'll have something you'll be able to take pride in, and you'll know that Pop is proud of your staying with the project and finishing it. Best of luck!

Dear MostSerene1;

My Dad was a master Carpenter and my Godfather next door was the chief aircraft mechanic at the local aiport near where I grew up...

As far as I can remember Neither one of them ever sat down and taught me a thing... though I worked WITH both of them off and on for years, and I miss them so much.

now.. often I jump in and DO something cussing one or both with love in my heart, both gone these many years, and when finished friends say 'had you ever DONE that before?" and I say no,... but I knew it COULD be done and so went and found out how and did it.. My work may not be perfect all the time but it's by gohd MINE! and I take pride in it.

your Dad gave you something that no office worker or corporate drone ever could, he gave you PERMISSION to make your own mistakes, to learn by doing, keep at it till it was done and most of all he gave you the INSIGHT that a normal, reasonably intelligent person COULD do for themselves... never forget that!


now, real advice???? nevermind six dollar magazines selling the latest and greates (though certainly some ARE great), get ye to a nearby USED BOOKSTORE and get a "handymans' encyclopedia" set for maybe ten or twelve bucks.... it'll be the best tool you own even if you don't get eggzactly the answer to every question you look for..

go get 'em girl.. YOU CAN DO IT! and Dad would have been proud!
email if you need help bookmanpc on that Yelling
service..

Lou.

Hey, I know exactly how you feel. My dad, who was living in my home, died a year ago January, and with the money he left me, I bought a small '50s frame home. It has needed a lot of(and needs lots more!) work. I thank God every day for the wisdom he imparted to me. It's been of great help while I have worked on my house. Daddy's motto was that if you didn't get it right the first time, just take it apart and try again. And believe me, I've had to do plenty of it, too! My sister has helped me do the really big things, most of which we now (isn't hindsight wonderful?!) know we could have done differently/easier/cheaper/better! C'est la vie!

You've been given lots of really good advice, but I have one more piece of advice to give you. Check out your local Habitat for Humanity (or a similar organization). A whole lot of the things that I have done to my own home, I first did while volunteering on Habitat projects. So far, I have gutted my kitchen, installed cabinets, countertops, dishwasher, sink, garbage disposal, wired the kitchen with 220 outlets for some of my appliances, laid tile, roofed my garage, painted EVERY square inch of the inside walls in my house, and the list goes on, with lots more projects left to do! Most of those things, I learned at least the basic knowledge about them by working for Habitat. If you tell the construction manager on a Habitat site that you want to learn how to do a particular job, most of them will be glad to help you learn a new skill. (They're usually those great retired craftsmen that everyone has been talking about!)

Good luck to you, and just keep plugging along. One day, we may get our houses looking just the way we want them!
Jan

way to GO JAN!!!!

SCORE (Service Corp of Retired Executives, though some actually HAVE skills, if you probe deep enough!), can help sometimes too..

now should we scare hell out of her by talking about permits?


Lou

Well, my wife and I don't live too close (Arizona), but we are very experienced. I was a contractor for many years, and we have redone several of our own homes. I would be happy to help in any way I can, via email (bill@freeholder.com) or by telephone (email me for the number). My wife and I are both teachers now, so we are fairly good at explaining things. I know it isn't the same as having someone right there to show you, but maybe having someone you can call on will help.

Bill

Hello, Christina! I'm sorry for your loss and hope things are going better for you (as your Pop would have wanted, I'm sure!)

I belong to several Yahoo! groups as well and can say I've learned an awful lot about electrical wiring, plumbing, drywalling and a host of other topics! I suppose the only "advice" to give would be to utilize any and every email resource out there that's willing to give you some advice/suggestions. And I agree, SCORE is awesome! Even if there's not an office near you, they supply email support. Research is the key to a happy structure and the internet is chock full of helpful instruction (I would verify some of it, tho, with one or two of your email resources).

You can also go to www.freecycle.org for a lot of building supplies in your area (and other free stuff) but you have to be a little quick on the draw sometimes. But it's still a great place to get some contacts in your area built up for you as well.

Take care, hon, and have a wonderful day!

I continue to be blown away by all the kindness shown to me here. You all are without a doubt the most compassionate folks I've ever run across - Honest!
Lou, you have made me think, tho........I never gave one moment's thought to permits. Being as unexperienced as I am in these things, obtaining a permit never crossed my mind. I will have to contact my city's planning commission (I guess that's where I would call) and see what permits I need. With my luck, I would be halfway through something and an inspector would show up and haul me off to jail.
On a different note, I did go back to Home Depot last nite after work and I purchased the items I need to remove the wallpaper this weekend. I now possess a perferator and a scraper with several extra blades. I will be sure to wet the walls down real well and I'm hoping I can have the whole bedroom un-wallpapered in one day.
I will see if I can find a retired expert who can lend a hand here and there as I move from project to project. That is a great idea. I know Pop used to run ads in his local newspaper if he needed to pick up some extra money (like when he wanted to come out visit me). I don't know why I didn't think of that myself. I guess it's a combination of denial (it's still difficult for me to accept he's gone) and my lack of experience (can I really do these things?).
So, on Saturday morning, I will put on a pair of Pop's overalls, roll up the legs and sleeves, and off I will go. These are the times when I desperately wish I wasn't an only child. It would be so nice to have a brother or sister who could help me. But it's just me and the puppy Pop brought me last year. (Pop said every house needs a dog so he brought "Boomer" out west with him on his last visit)
I will think of you all as I work this weekend; and I will consider each removed foot of wallpaper a victory for us all!
Thanks so much, friends!! Thank you all so so so much!
Lou, am I right in thinking I need to call the planning commission for permits?
For Pop!!


Christina

Christina ;

for heavens SAKE don't get a permit to replace wallpaper....

Ronny Reagan was right about somethings.. one being "The most terrifying words in the English Language are, 'I'm from the Government and we're here to help you!'"...

Permits are needed (take this with a grain of salt.. ) ONLY when what you are doing will:

1. Change the OUTSIDE dimensions of the building...

2. really really REALLY change the plumbing or WIRING of a home in such a way that homeowners expertise could be dangerous.. i.e. adding 220V lines, running pipes ABOVE heaters or stoves that water would/could short and things like that..

ONCE you identify yourself as someone that 1. is dumb enuf to identify yourself as doing your own INSIDE work, and2, Someone LEANRING as they go they will be all over you..

and Boomer probably has more common sense than some of them.

If you start ripping out walls, or adding bathrooms you'll have to have a permit.. if you are doing COSMETIC repair/enhancement, most times you won't..

stay off the radar!!!!


Lou

I felt really moved while reading this site.I lost my grandfather 4 yrs ago Aug 17th and I still feel lost.I bought his home,where he past away in my arms at 99 +_4 months old.He ALWAYS took care of me and the house.He use to go around showing me how to drain air from baseboard heaters and water tank etc.I never paid much attention since it seemed horrible for me to think of him not here!Well I'm glad to say "he"guides me in everything I do still and"probably"took me to this site!I will be doing his ceilings over soon and was thinking of copper or tin ceilings?Does anyone have good ideas or cheaper alternatives?God Bless all of you!